Elliptical Machines Are Dumb

For the past couple of days I have been out of my home state of Michigan on business. I enjoy going on trips for business or pleasure. The one thing I always try to squeeze in is some form of physical activity. Sitting in my hotel room after what I needed to do during the day can get quite boring. The hotel I was staying at is a very nice hotel. Coincidentally this is the second time I have stayed at the same Wyndham hotel.

Last time I only stayed for one night and did not have that much time for a workout because it was one of those fly in the night before and leave the next day. This time I am in town for three days. It has been quite some time since I took a break from P90X and I needed to do something on my last day before I came home. My morning appointments did not start until 9:30am so I figured I would get up around 7:30 and hit up the workout room at the hotel.

Its one of those exercise rooms which has 1 treadmill, 2 sit down bike machines, 1 Bowflex looking contraption, and 3 elliptical machines. I really wanted to get on the treadmill and get some running in. When I showed up there was some lady was on it. She said she only had 15 minutes left. No big deal. The elliptical machine was there and I only wanted to workout for about 30 minutes anyways. I figured 15 on the elliptical and 15 on the treadmill.

After 10 minutes on the elliptical I didn’t even break a sweat. Keeping at it, I increased the weight resistance and grade level of the hills. Nothing. The lady wasn’t getting off of the treadmill either.

After 30 minutes of being on that stupid elliptical machine I had barely even got my heart beat up. It felt like I didn’t even do anything. I remember why I always stayed away from those machines when I was going to the gym for other things than swimming. I felt sometimes the people who go on an elliptical are the type who show up to the gym, do that machine for 30 minutes at a slow ass pace and say they got a workout.

They then talk about how they never lose weight or just can’t get into shape eventhough they go to the gym 4 days a week. There are just to many opportunities to “half ass” a workout. You can hold onto the handles or go slow with the foot pedals. Thinking about it more I can only think of one person an elliptical machine is good for, senior citizens.

This machine is perfect for them because its a “low impact workout” where your not putting a lot of pressure on the joints. Unlike plyometrics where you are constantly putting stress on your ankles and knees. Besides for senior citizens I do not see how this machine can be effective for anyone.

This is the kind of machine Tony Horton would talk about when it comes to plateauing your muscles. I am sure that if you did this dumb machine for an hour you would build up some kind of sweat and your legs would be on fire but why spend all of that time when you could of just gone for a run for 30 minutes and do 100 pushups for better results? I hope nobody feels offended from this but its the truth. I think next time I go travelling I might bring my P90X DVDs with me and do one of those in my hotel room.

About the Author: Brad Gibala

Shreds Gnar. Hall & Oates Fan. Practicing Libertarian. Beachbody Coach. Detroit-ish. Contact - Start Here - About - Recommends

1 Comment

Leave a Reply