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Archives for December 2018

Detroit Lions Daily Fantasy Football Experiment: A Disaster

December 17, 2018 - Updated January 2, 2019

Me Sean Ford Field Christmas Tree
Brothers don’t shake hands at Ford Field. Brothers gotta hug.

There is no tougher job in sports than being a Detroit Lions fan. Mostly because there is a lot of sadness. None of which I am going to address here.

What I am instead going to do is an experiment with my beloved Detroit Lions and daily fantasy football. More on that below.

**This experiment is over. Recap at bottom**

After a decade of playing in three season long leagues and daily fantasy football for the past three years at DraftKings and FanDuel I am at a point where something has to give.

It’s too much fantasy football. And I feel it’s starting to cost me some money which I am not happy about.

Season long league dues are $75 to $100 each. For daily fantasy football I’ve been playing the week-long tournaments and the 1pm or 4pm games on both sites with entry fees around $5 each ($20/week).

I have had one big win where I came in 3rd out of over 4,000 entries pocketing $1000. That was exciting. And there have been a few $8-$75 wins. My guess is I’m probably somewhere around even on daily fantasy football over the years even with the big win.

Experiment Rules

If I make more than $1 playing daily fantasy football in the 2018 NFL season (including playoffs if the Detroit Lions make it..lol) then I will play the following year. If not, I will quit.

And to make it even harder to make money I will do one of the absolute stupidest things any fantasy football manager could do.

At least four Detroit Lions must be drafted per lineup including the QB and Defense.

Don’t think I’ll do it?

Back in 2014 I was invited to a league by a close friend whose buddies had been running since 1996. They read about fantasy football in a magazine and did everything…on paper. There were no ESPN or Yahoo leagues then. It’s quite impressive if you think about it.

In 2014 I drafted the best player available and finished in 9th place. For 2015 I did something that maybe has never been done ever in the history of fantasy football. I drafted all Detroit Lions. I also named the team after my friend.

All Detroit Lions Fantasy Football Team

The results were disastrous. A 1-12-1 record sure is shitty but man was it fun.

I won’t be able to get rid of the Detroit Lions as my team but I can get rid of daily fantasy football if it’s becoming a problem. So just like my daily fantasy golf experiment I am going to have one last hurrah at daily fantasy football. I don’t see myself quitting the season long leagues as they are with friends.

Prediction

A real Lions fan knows what the Lions do best. And that’s give hope.

They lose the games they’re supposed to win. They win the games they’re supposed to lose. They find a way to give away games they’re winning and rally when there is no chance in hell they can. Rarely is there a solid win.

At the age of 38 and being in a family that has had season tickets since 1992 I have seen just about everything. That is, except for something that can be put on a banner and hung in Ford Field.

So it would not surprise me if I do make more than the $1 requirement to play next year.

It would be such that the four Detroit Lions I draft plus the other players I choose (both sites have caps on how many from a team you can have in a lineup) would come together to form some sort of super lineup at some point during the season.

Let’s hope (like for real) that Matthew Stafford does his thing all year and he finds Golden Tate (have fun in Philadelphia), Marvin Jones Jr., and Kenny Golladay all day. Who knows, maybe I’ll throw in Kerryon Johnson or LeGarrette Blount here and there.

In the mean time I will publicly shame myself and post the results here. Each image is clickable to my lineup on DraftKings and FanDuel showing who I drafted.

There is a “follow this post” box at the bottom you can check if you’d like some humor delivered to your email every Wednesday.​​

FanDuel Time Slot Week Fees Won
Week 1 2018 Week 1 Late Sun Mon FanDuel Detroit Lions 2018 Week 1 FanDuel Detroit Lions $10 $0
Week 2 2018 Week 2 Afternoon FanDuel Detroit Lions 2018 Week 2 FanDuel Detroit Lions $8.88 $16
Week 3 2018 Week 3 Late FanDuel Detroit Lions 2018 Week 3 FanDuel Detroit Lions $6 $0
Week 4 2018 Week 4 1pm FanDuel Detroit Lions 2018 Week 4 FanDuel Detroit Lions $13.44 $15
Week 5 Week 5 1PM FanDuel Detroit Lions 2018 Week 5 FanDuel Detroit Lions $14 $0
Week 7 Week 7 FanDuel Early Only Detroit Lions Week 7 FanDuel Detroit Lions $15.54 $0
Week 8 2018 Week 8 Early FanDuel Detroit Lions 2018 Week 8 FanDuel Detroit Lions $15.54 $0
Week 9  2018 Week 9 Early FanDuel Detroit Lions 2018 Week 9 FanDuel Detroit Lions $17.76 $0
Week 10 2018 Week 10 Early FanDuel Detroit Lions 2018 Week 10 FanDuel Detroit Lions $17.76 $18
Week 11 Week 11 Early Games FanDuel Detroit Lions Week 11 FanDuel Detroit Lions $17.76 $20
Week 12 Week 12 Thanksgiving Game FanDuel Detroit Lions Week 12 FanDuel Detroit Lions $18 $0
Week 13 Week 13 Early FanDuel Detroit Lions Week 13 FanDuel Detroit Lions $17.76 $0
Week 14 Week 14 FanDuel Late Games Detroit Lions Week 14 FanDuel Detroit Lions $17.76 $0
Week 15 Week 15 Early FanDuel Detroit Lions Week 15 FanDuel Detroit Lions $17.76 $0
Week 16 Week 16 FanDuel Early Detroit Lions Week 16 FanDuel Detroit Lions $17.76 $0
Week 17 Week 17 Early FanDuel Detroit Lions Week 17 FanDuel Detroit Lions $17.76 $0
Totals $243.48 $69
DraftKings Time Slot Week Fees Won
Week 1 2018 Week 1 Primetime DraftKings Detroit Lions 2018 Week 1 DraftKings Detroit Lions $16 $15
Week 2 2018 Week 2 Afternoon DraftKings Detroit Lions 2018 Week 2 DraftKings Detroit Lions $11 $18
Week 3 2018 Week 3 Primetime DraftKings Detroit Lions 2018 Week 3 DraftKings Detroit Lions $12 $0
Week 4 2018 Week 4 Early DraftKings Detroit Lions 2018 Week 4 DraftKings Detroit Lions $18 $0
Week 5 2018 Week 5 1PM DraftKings Detroit Lions 2018 Week 5 DraftKings Detroit Lions $11 $0
Week 7 Week 7 DraftKings Early Only Detroit Lions Week 7 DraftKings Detroit Lions $28 $0
Week 8 2018 Week 8 DraftKings Early Detroit Lions 2018 Week 8 DraftKings Detroit Lions $28 $0
Week 9 2018 Week 9 DraftKings Early Games Detroit Lions 2018 Week 9 DraftKings Detroit Lions $28 $0
Week 10 2018 Week 10 Early DraftKings Detroit Lions 2018 Week 10 DraftKings Detroit Lions $28 $60
Week 11 Week 11 Early Games DraftKings Detroit Lions Week 11 DraftKings Detroit Lions $28 $15
Week 12 Week 12 Thanksgiving DraftKings Detroit Lions Week 12 DraftKings Detroit Lions $30 $0
Week 13 Week 13 Early DraftKings Detroit Lions Week 13 DraftKings Detroit Lions $18 $0
Week 14 Week 14 DraftKings Late Games Detroit Lions Week 14 DraftKings Detroit Lions $28 $12
Week 15 Week 15 DraftKings Early Detroit Lions Week 15 DraftKings Detroit Lions $28 $0
Week 16 Week 16 Early DraftKings Detroit Lions Week 16 DraftKings Detroit Lions $23 $0
Week 17 Week 17 Early DraftKings Detroit Lions Week 17 DraftKings Detroit Lions $28 $0
Totals $363 $120

**Week 6 was Detroit Lions bye week**

Recap

Much like the 2018 Detroit Lions season this experiment was a disaster. Here are the totals.

Entry fees $606.48. Winnings $189. Grand total of $417.48 lost.

8 winning entries out of 32 total entries for a 25% winning average.

All of it was bad.

The Detroit Lions were painful to watch. Their offense was boring.

Things went downhill when they traded Golden Tate. Didn’t help that Marvin Jones went on Injured Reserve in the middle of the season and Kerryon Johnson missed six weeks. It left me guessing between backups.

Whats most sad is the other guys I drafted couldn’t pick up the slack. Most of my entries were stacked due to there being so much salary cap left over. Didn’t matter.

DraftKings does a better job showing how sucky you are. I almost finished in last place out of 22,500 entires in Week 16. And 183,678th place out of 191,200 entires in Week 8 is hilarious.

So I was way off when I predicted I would make more than my entry fees. WAY OFF!!! Not one was close to hitting something big.

I should have known better. And with that, I’m done with daily fantasy football. Thanks a lot Lions!!Dad Checking Fantasy Football Team

When checking your fantasy team is more important than watching your actual team and you don’t know the Detroit Lions just took a 360 degree picture of Ford Field. Miss you Dad.

2017 Ford Escape Titanium Review: BORING!

December 12, 2018 - Updated December 12, 2018

We were given the option to turn in our leased 2017 Ford Escape Titanium two months early last month and we did. It was too good of a deal to pass up. Especially since we just went over miles. And with the Escape no longer in our lives means it is time for a review.

2017 Ford Escape Titanium Review

I’ve always hated the Escape. Every single one of them. It’s the one car Ford makes that irkes me. I think its because the Escape has never been what it claims to be. A small but roomy SUV. It’s just not.

But this car wasn’t really for me. It was for this hot chick that I live with. You see, I work from home and barely drive. If its nice out I’ll ride my RadWagon all over Oakland County. Because my car is not a car. Its my Dad’s 2004 F150. A vehicle that doesn’t fit anywhere.

We were turning in the 2015 Transit Connect Wagon that I loved and she hated. Since she puts 90% of the miles on the car and has to drive with a then 1.5 and 2.5 year old every morning for thirty minutes I can only push so far.

And since my Dad worked for Ford my Mom still gets his employee discount. It’s stupid for me to get anything else than a Ford because of the discount we get.

So the hot chick says something like “uuuuhhhhh, I want the Escape.” I’m like “No. They’re dumb.”

I just couldn’t change her mind. More on that below.

Ford Escape it is.

It was $7 more a month for the Titanium which was way more optioned than the SE so we did that.

Let’s get right into it.

1.5L Ecoboost was underpowered –  It just did not have any pickup to it. Sure, it was fine getting around in but when you floored it the Escape did not get up and go.

Firm Bouncy Ride – I’m sure the low profile tires had something to do with that.

Cramped – I don’t fit. For some reason I fit in a Ford Focus just fine. But not an Escape which is basically the same car. At 5’10” I felt pinched in the drivers seat.

Doesn’t Fit Much – An over night bag per person is really all it could fit in the trunk. No way I can throw my golf clubs in there with those.

2017 Ford Escape Titanium Cargo Space
It’s Full

26 Combined MPG – There is no reason a 4 cylinder turbo engine should get less than a combined 30 MPG in 2017. I could not get it over 29 MPG on the highway. Pitiful.

2017 Ford Escape Titanium Actual MPG
No Bueno

Clearly I am going the Negative Nancy route here.

But to be fair the Escape wasn’t that bad. We had 21,224 uneventful miles over nearly two years of use. We were able to put both of our kids Britax car seats in it. And it was easy to park.

2017 Ford Escape Toddler Seats
Plenty Of Room

But that’s about it. Or at least what I thought about it. The hot chick was quite fond of the Escape.

Ford’s The Problem

When we turned in the Transit I almost had the hot chick convinced on getting a C-Max Energi. They were giving them away. I remember our salesman saying 24 months $0 down 10500 miles a year for $249 a month. The Escape was $296.

We’d be saving $47 a month in payments and with the C-Max Energi getting like 100 MPG we’d be saving at least $50 a month in gas versus the Escape. We’re talking about $1200 a year less for the C-Max Energi versus the Escape. That’s a big difference going from the Transit at $340 a month.

As much as it made sense (we really only need one commuter vehicle) I just couldn’t convince the hot chick to deal with putting a stroller in that tiny trunk for four months. Our youngest was so close to growing out of the stroller ride to the daycare but it was still needed. Damn that battery!! What a bad design. Even with the savings I could barely sell myself on putting up with that.

So we got the Escape.

We looked at the regular C-Max hybrid which would have worked better than the Energi but for some reason they were pricing out at $340 a month. As was the Fusion hybrid. Even with the savings on gas we’d probably save money with the Escape. Plus, she always wanted one.

I was really hoping there would be more (any) hybrid or electric options than the Fusion or C-Max to chose from in 2017 when we turned in the Transit. The electric Focus was not an option as it didn’t get enough range for us to deal with yet.

All of that lingered with me the entire time we had the Escape.

It comes back to two years prior to getting the Escape when I went for a test drive in a Tesla Model S. Within 15 seconds of feeling what it was like to get thrown back in the seat and realizing how simple electric cars were is when I knew I wanted one (an electric car).

I remember saying during the test drive “This car is going to change the world.”

Four years later it is. Ford didn’t bother to notice.

They gave us boring Escape’s instead. And not even a hybrid one.

I know Ford said almost a year ago that 16 electric cars would be released by 2022 along with 25 new hybrid models. I was really hoping one of the electric cars would have been released before we turned in the Escape. They did not.

We did get our first hybrid though. A 2019 Ford Fusion SE Hybrid. So far so good. More on that in two years when we turn it in.

It’s not you 2017 Ford Escape. It’s me. You’re five years late and I’m two years early to the party.

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